You're so Open-Minded that Your Mind Leaked Out

At dinner last night Ellen was describing some of the blogs she had been reading, and the "liberal" women she had been running into. Liberal, always an interesting term, "showing or characterized by broad-mindedness." But I have a big problem with it, because it contains inherent flaws. First of all, these "liberal", "open-minded" people seem to have great difficulty seeing past themselves and accepting, or at least considering other people's points of view. It often seems like they are stuck in the last book they read, spouting off ideas they claim to be open-minded about, when in turn they are stuck between the covers of that book, failing to think for themselves. Second of all, it's no fun talking to an open-minded person, because they have all the answers, and like tell you how to live your life, rather than discuss, collaborate, investigate, and consider.

I was sitting in one of my group sessions with the adolescent patients last week, when a guy began talking about how angry he was at his father, how much he hated his father because his father was a homosexual. One of his female peers quickly turned to him and replied, "You are so wrong for hating your father because he is gay, this is his choice. You have got to learn to embrace people's differences, to be more open-minded and tolerant." I could tell that the guy to whom these statements were directed was getting angry, but he didn't express his anger, he just sat there confused, tears welling up in his eyes, controlling the beast that stir within. I first confronted the young lady by asking her a simple question about her idea of tolerance. I then tried to subtly assist her in seeing how she was contradicting her own statement of "non-judgmental" by being very judgmental of her peer's feelings about his father. I said to her, "You seem to be requesting in the same statement that someone be opened minded, to accept something that has effected them, and yet you seem to contradict the very belief you are preaching by neglecting to be tolerant of your peers personal experience, hurt, and anger toward his father. The room grew very quiet. The girl thought for a moment, then resorted to very defensive stance, claiming she didn't understand this point of view, and attempted to get the group to join her side. To her surprise, the group was very aware of what just happened, and began to challenge her, assisting her to see in herself how the so called "tolerant" had become "intolerant."

Ellen and I were discussing how she gets verbally attackted on various message boards when she states a different way of seeing or looking at the issues that are being discussed. Many people think they are so tolerant and open-minded, yet they become very close minded when a point of view is brought up that they don't disagree with. They quickly close there ears, get defensive, and plead the "your being intolerant" fifth.

I remember this one time when I was at a party talking with a man that considered himself a free-thinker. He began to go off on Christianity, and how terrible it was, how intolerant it's followers were, and how he would never be a part of such a religion. I quickly asked him if he had ever read the Bible through from cover to cover, to which he reported that he hadn't. I said, "huh, that's interesting, you claim to be such a philosophical man, listing off all the others, sharing these great ideas, and you have failed to read one of the most read philosophical books in the world. I really can't believe that you have so many negative opinnions about this religion when you haven't really looked into it." He stopped, stared at me in amazment, and actually admitted that I had made a good point, and that he was going to start reading it.

There are closed minded people on both sides of the coin, but the carious part of it all is that it always seems that those that are the most closed minded are the one's that have open thier minds up so much there brain's have leaked out.