Flat Tires and Angry Wives

So there I was running out the door to a meeting yesterday, which the CEO of the company so kindly reminded me about 6 times within the last few weeks, and my wife calls. She panicking , overwhelmed, and quickly informs me that I must come and pick her and a friend up because they are stranded with a flat tire, and must be back to work with in a hour. I know, I was supposed to automatically realize that she was in the scorching heat, with convicted rapists and murderers staring her down as she changed her tire (at least this is the way she made it sound by the tone in her voice), but I chose to go the meeting. What a mistake! I quickly told her (with that tone of voice I figured out she doesn't like) that I was late for a meeting but I would send someone from work to pick her up and take her back to work. However, she didn't like the quickness of breath or the tone of my voice, and basically heard me say, "I don't love you, you'll have to figure it out yourself." Well, the rest of the evening was in shambles. Upon returning home we both glanced at each other, gave that competitive smile, and went to separate rooms to do our own thing. Throughout the evening we would glance at each, both wondering who would give in first, who would take responsibility for their error, who would give in and say sorry to the other.

Marriage is an odd relationship. It's actually quite fulfilling, if I may state my personal opinion (which I may because this is my blog). Though I was disgruntled, angry, worried, and pressed to tell her "sorry", I was also stubborn, reaching for ways I was right, and trying to contrive all the reasons that she was being irrational. I have a bad habit of pointing out when my wife is being irrational, which she has learned to despise.

Well, we made it through the night without getting into a knock out drag 'em out fight, and sat down and discussed the situation. I continued to be completely rational, in my male/therapist sort of way, which didn't help much, but she continued to refer to me as "husband" throughout the evening, so I knew things were still kosher.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't understand women, and probably never will, and this is what usually leads to our truces. Actually, I'm usually the one that gives in, admits I've done her wrong, after which we kiss and make up. However, this time it seems like we discussed the issue, both admitted our negligence of the other, and went on our way again as if nothing happened.

I admit, I can be insensitive at times, and to often take the therapist role in our relationship. That's something I will work on. As we are told time and time again, "we need to listen If we want to have a happy wife/married life"

So here are a few things I've learned about marriage after being married for 3 years, things I didn't learn in my marital therapy class:

1. The longer you live with a person the more you fall in love with them.
2. You begin to refer to your wife a lot in your therapy sessions, because she is the closest relationship you have, and this relationship provides a lot of great therapeutic examples.
3. You can learn a lot about yourself by living with someone so closely.
4. You get very lonely and depressed when you are away from the person you love for long periods of time.
5. You learn to appreciate/despise things you didn't pay much attention to before getting married.(Thought I don't know her friends that well I feel as if I do and have certain opinions of them. I never really watched the Simpson's before meeting my wife, and now I find it comforting to watch. I can't stand Tom Cruise for some odd reason.)
6. Married women that struggle with depression like to blog, and their husbands had better watch out, because there is a whole world of disgruntled wives that will take their side and give them the will power to fight back.